CRASHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD COMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tsunami of spam is about to explode down on your mail. We're talking atrocious amounts of scammy emails packed with gross porn. These scumbags are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned cash, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any links in these emails, and block them immediately. Be smart! D